I have known about the power of Minecraft for a while. It has opened up a whole new world for my son, and has been a real boost to his ability to socialise as he has bonded with like minded people over the game. Here a mother shares her experience with teaching her son with Asperger’s to read and write using Minecraft:
There is a point of anger or anxiety that a child can reach, when calming techniques don’t work. This is when the child is in meltdown. There is a point of no return where the child’s brain and body is in ‘fight or flight’ mode. Reasoning with the child or trying to calm them down will not work as the “downstairs brain” is in primitive survival mode and the “upstairs (thinking) brain” is inhibited (see Upstairs, Downstairs‘). ‘Fight’ may manifest as aggression, verbal abuse, throwing things, kicking etc as the child tries to release the adrenalin and stress hormones in their bloodstream. ‘Flight’ is when the child runs off to their bedroom or engages in other escape behaviours. Your priority at this point should be the child’s safety. If they are safe it is best to leave them to calm down, as following them and trying to engage them may exacerbate the situation. Never take anything they say personally when the child is in this frame of mind.
So how do we know if a child is in meltdown or just having a tantrum? Easy, ASD expert Sue Larkey says. bribery doesn’t work. If you were frightened of mice and a mouse was next to your kitchen sink, would bribery make you walk up to the mouse?
When your child is calm you can talk to them about the trigger (although they may not know why it happened. It could be cumulative effect of many things), and about ways they can deal with their anger and anxiety in the future, as well as strategies they can use.
Learn to recognise the child’s triggers and early warning signs. These are very individual and different for every child. Redirect them before the point of no return and teach them ways to recognise their own early signs and methods they can use to self-soothe.
When a person is stressed, they often “revert to habits”, so teach them good habits for dealing with their low level anxiety or frustration and they will eventually learn to do this automatically before they reach the point of no return.
- Upstairs, Downstairs (engagekids.wordpress.com)
- Emotional Processing and Regulation
- 8 Signs It’s Not A Discipline Problem – Is it just tantrums or a developmental disorder? (babble.com)
In an effort to teach my 7 year old son emotional regulation I have introduced him to the idea of the “upstairs brain” and the “downstairs brain”. This is a concept that I “borrowed” from ‘The Whole Brain Child‘ by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.
The downstairs brain is the primitive, instinctual, emotional, intuitive part of the brain and includes the amygdala, the area behind the “fight or flight” mechanism, the automatic response to sensory stimuli, the unconscious component of emotion. The downstairs brain is fully developed at birth and is concerned with basic survival.
The upstairs brain on the other hand is the seat of executive function, the base for self regulation, planning, organisation, problem solving, impulse control, theory of mind and the conscious component of emotion. This is the area at the front of the brain, part of the frontal lobe, and includes the cerebral cortex. This area of the brain is not fully developed until the age of around 23.
The downstairs brain is very reactive. For someone who has strong emotional reactions it is important to engage the upstairs brain to slow this reaction and think things through. Just naming the responses which are generated by his upstairs and downstairs brain, I am showing my son that he can be in control of his reactions and his body states. It slows him down enough to help him clear his mind and help him self regulate. If he has a strong emotional reaction, I tell him “that is your downstairs brain talking. What does your upstairs brain say?” A few seconds later he has calmed himself in order to think clearly and gives me a considered answer.
This is the most effective emotional regulation technique I have discovered, more effective than simply telling him to take deep breaths or another meditative technique. His body is calming itself automatically as his brain is distracted. Last week he was having panic attacks. This week he is much more in control.
My son’s psychologist recommended a few simple techniques for helping him to relax, which I shall share here.
Hug for 20 seconds, Hugging releases a hormone called oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” which has been “linked to a sense of calmness and wellbeing”*
Deep or slow “belly breathing“. You and your child lie down on your backs with a cushion under your heads, and tell your child to breathe in deeply through their nose until they can feel their belly going up. Then you both breathe out through your mouths, almost blowing the air out in one long breath. They could blow a feather or windmill (pinwheel). See breathing techniques for children for more information. Do this several times building up to five minutes. You or your child may feel a little dizzy or lightheaded after this so make sure you are lying down. Alternatively, if they find this difficult teach them to hold their breath for five seconds and let it out through their mouth as before. Relaxing music may help them slow down and get into the right frame of mind.
For muscle relaxation pretend to be a ragdoll and make your bodies go all limp, or “shake like a dog”, pretending to be a dog and shake as a wet dog would to get dry, shaking all over.
The benefits of play on the brain.
Carol Gray’s “Social Stories[trademark]” are not only familiar throughout the autism community, but they have become an absolute necessity for parents and educators. Carol Gray pioneered this method of teaching social skills through structured stories and her method is now a standard in special needs education. With the exponential growth of children being diagnosed with autism (and the number of adults who support them), the need for this book is increasing by the minute. Now, with a revamped format and over 50 per cent more stories, this classic will reenter the market with a bang. Since the early 90s, Carol Gray’s world-famous “Social Stories[trademark]” have helped thousands of children with autism spectrum disorders. This 10th Anniversary edition of her best-selling book offers the ready-to-use stories that parents and educators have depended on for years, but now features over 25 additional “Social Stories”, groundbreaking new strategies for creating custom stories, and a modern design complete with full-color photos. Developed through years of experience, these strategically written stories explain social situations in a way children with autism understand, while teaching the social skills children need to be successful at home, at school, and in the community.
Award-winning author of the How Do I Teach This Kid series, Kim Henry extends her expertise to the realm of reading. In this book, she presents simple instructional strategies for developing early literacy skills in young children with autism. She provides evidence-based research to support her strategies and addresses topics such as phonemic awareness, phonics, fluency, vocabulary, and text comprehension. Included are creative activities and interesting lesson plans that can be easily adapted or combined with other teaching methods to suit teachers’ and students’ individual needs. A bonus CD of printable lesson plans is also included!